They say—when you know, you know
But how could that possibly be true
when life hasn’t told you it’s secret unfolding
when you haven’t walked the corridors of grief or betrayal or red hot anger to see how you’ll stand in the wake of it. To see how he’ll stand in the wake of it.
when you haven’t yet been broken, your body in two, blood seeping out between your legs, a bundle heaving on your chest. Your own life, and his, made new, made over, made, in the seconds of her coming.
when you haven’t navigated the stress of the push and pull of each other’s families. The people who made you left behind or pushed aside for the becoming of something different.
when you haven’t stood by the phone for days waiting for a call of hope, breath rattling shallow in your lungs, afraid to believe everything will be okay. Afraid to not.
when you haven’t tasted all of who you’ll be—the doubt that will cloud your heart, the joy you’ll feel when you find something new, the fear that will seize you as you stand on the edge of the unknown, the relief of looking back and not recognizing who you once were, the worry of it all.
when life has yet to hand you much hard; much knee breaking, sob inducing pain. When suffering is only what you’ve read in stories and seen in the faces of strangers.
when you can’t see the reflection of even your own soul one year or two or ten or twenty from now.
So how could you possibly see the reflection of another’s
and know what they say you’ll know.
*Originally seen on Instagram